Compassion – i.e. sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering or misfortune of others1 – is a powerful state of mind. It is one that is normally triggered within us when we see people in pain, under the trials and tribulations of life. But does it have to be like that? Do we have to see someone in such an ordeal to feel the urge to tend or heal their pain with our words and/or actions? Indeed, do we have to see someone helpless before offering them a helping hand?
Once, I was out having dinner with my friends. It was late in the evening. Being a fast food restaurant, after having finished our meal one of my friends decided to throw the leftovers in the bin. While emptying the tray, he walked over to the staff member who was cleaning. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and said, thank you. As I was observing from the corner of my eye, I saw a smile start to stretch from the corner of his mouth, travel from cheek to cheek, until it was beaming ear to ear. I cannot quite describe how warm it felt to witness this man’s happiness after such a simple collection of two words…thank you.
Is that all it takes to generate a soul-full smile? I pondered and could not help but smile within myself. This, indeed, is a remedy I would love to pass on to everyone, those I know and those I do not. It was as if the member of staff had suddenly received all the positivity and abundant energy to continue his evening shift. Who knows what he had experienced during the day, and what ache those two words soothed? Or how much he needed to hear something simplistically, impactfully compassionate?
If this small incident had not occurred, perhaps not much would have changed. We would have carried on with our evening, finished our dinner, and headed on our way, while that member of staff would have finished the rest of his evening shift. But something important did change. My friend’s gratitude for the staff member really helped that worker feel noticed and seen. One small, kind utterance may have made an otherwise mundane job feel worthwhile. Who knows how it may have impacted the way the worker viewed his role, and the people he was serving that day. Sometimes, small acts like these may not change much on the outside but can make massive changes on the inside. I believe acts of compassionate kindness have a ripple effect on those who share, those who receive and even those who observe!
Are these events rare in our lives, once in a blue moon situations, or is this the way we can, or better still should live every day? This is the question we must ask ourselves. If these are rare occurrences, how can we make them daily occurrences, rendering them the only way to live, and not any other way?
The All-Pervading Nirankar not only recognises, but knows the nature of every heart.
The Almighty lives in every single atom
An’ knows every single heart, Nirankar
Irrespective of who & how one may be
The Lord recognizes them all, Nirankar2
Hence, the answer to innumerable questions resides here, right here, within us. Our truest essence of life and nature is known to the Almighty, and thereby should not be misconstrued. Sometimes our actions are far from being compassionate, but we portray ourselves to be better than we truly are. Respected Rajpita Ramit ji, devotee and life partner to HH Mata Sudiksha Ji, exemplified this in his discourse on March 13th 2023. He reminded us that the lies we tell ourselves become the truth we believe. But how long can we lie to ourselves? This Gyan, the Truth, is what we should hold on to, for it is eternal, unwavering, strong, and the ultimate guide.
Upon hearing this, I wondered why we not only fail to realise our truest selves on a daily basis, but that we are also dissuaded from the path that has been set for us. Our habits begin to become second nature, and before we know it, we fall even further away from our highest potential. We rarely fail to be compassionate to someone close to our hearts, for there is a sense of personal connection, responsibility of care and love for that individual. What holds us back from extending the same warmth and love for others? Why don’t we see everyone with the same lens?
The Avtar Bani spells this out beautifully, speaking of the one light that shines within all:
The one – same holy spark,
Dwells in female and male,
Warrior Artisan n’ Menials
Priests11 from Him all hail3
When we realign our focus to the one spiritual collectiveness, we can see all souls as kindred beings. Just as we have our needs and roles, each person is a purpose-filled individual having their own needs and roles to play. When we take care of each other’s needs and respect each other’s roles, the world becomes a brighter place.
Living with compassion encompasses compassion towards the world around us and within us as well. Self-compassion is crucial in how we view the world and imbibe such characteristics. However, this should not be just in our actions, but in our thoughts too, for thoughts become actions, and actions become habits, and habits reflect as to who we truly are.
I often find myself going out of my way to show the positives to my friends and family who are struggling. When they cannot see sympathetically the situation they find themselves in, I endeavour to offer them a more compassionate lens. But like so many people, where I lack is in giving myself the same advice that I give to others. Self-love was once regarded as a selfish attribute, but it increasingly accepted today as the starting point of our love for others. With such escalating challenges in mental health, the beauty of self-love, and self-compassion is needed more than ever.
Spiritually, we need to understand that this body, mind and wealth is not ours, but given in trust. These are gifts delivered to us by God, to use whilst we journey on Earth. One day, we will have to return these blessings, relinquishing all that we thought ourselves to be. But, whilst we have the mind, body and wealth for a temporary period, why not treat them with utmost value, respect and care? The soul is also an immeasurable wealth – we need to nurture and care for it, wholeheartedly. In doing so, self-love and self-compassion thrives.
Satguru blesses us with Brahm Gyan – the knowledge of the All-Pervading. The journey from receiving this knowledge to truly living it, is where many fall short. Yet it is in the living – through love, compassion, tolerance, acceptance and understanding – that we make practical our spiritual wisdom, and find our way home.
Spiritual Masters have always reminded us of our duty to our Self, as well as the world we live in. They have always inspired us to cultivate love, spread peace, live compassionately, and show empathy towards everyone around us, including ourselves. This is the truest way to be.
By following our heart, we will be naturally compassionate. Whether it is giving someone the benefit of the doubt; asking a coffee shop barista as to how their shift is going; spending time in feeding the homeless; smiling at a stranger you pass by; asking a friend how they are doing; or serving your parents – these are all opportunities to live compassionately. They allow us to be present moment focussed, and make a difference in the world.
There is a spectrum of possibilities within which one may practise compassion. There is no measure, no limit and no need to compare or compete with others. We can allow our compassion to flow, as authentically and spontaneously as possible. When we connect spiritually to the depths within us, we will tap into the very essence of compassion. This will be the beginning of a beautiful journey, within which our love and compassionate regard becomes all-encompassing.
– Dr Purva Sawhney, Manchester
