I have realised that my whole life has been a living lie! Full to the brim with this ‘lie’, I have always been frightened to confront it. I looked for any advantage over others. I tried hard to be happy, with a mind that is both fickle and fussy. I even made mountains out of molehills, many a time. However, it was not so much lying to others, but lying to myself. As the deception happened automatically, I found it difficult to catch myself out in the process.
Despite a lot of introspection and self-reflection, the lie was still there in the background. So much so that it compounded itself and grew exponentially until I understood and fully grasped it.
There was another aspect that fortified the lie. It was simply the fact that I did not question my lying? In the sheer madness of the lie, everything appeared as dangerous; I was full of fear. I could not be myself, but played a role that others expected of me. I was no longer my essential self, but the projected persona of others’ imagination.
Not having learned how to stand before myself, I was attempting to stand before others. It is ironic and most disrespectful to ignore one’s own true self and chase after the illusion of people’s expectations. Moreover, it is not enough to catch myself lying, but to challenge the lie, rather like a policeman challenging a thief.
If I can lie to myself, it becomes easier to lie to others. But if I want to be a spirit of God, then lying is out of the question. Human beings must be the light in darkness, no matter what happens, for Truth is the key to unlock happiness of the heart.
When we go beyond the lie we have to be prepared for the subtle understanding. When peace is understood, it is always with a subtle unspeakable moment.
The search for God was not a deep yearning, but it certainly could not be ignored. After experiencing the bliss of the Gyan, I was faced with the immaculate, all-encompassing peace. I felt this peace was always within me, but I did not have access prior to the Gyan. I felt like a drop in the ocean, but at the same time, I was the ocean! I had no form. Manifold thoughts did not concern me, as they simply came and went. I was here and now. In the Gyan, I was timeless, formless, and in unity with everything.
With this Gyan, I feel at peace, regardless of the situation I find myself in. The Gyan opened the door to the realisation of who I am. While my mind or emotions are conducive to my faltering and becoming unstable, the Gyan brings stability and equilibrium.
Gyan is indeed the greatest blessing to put an end to the lie we call life. Nirankar, in actual fact, is the source of life. Those who recognise this eternal source, live a life that is complete and fulfilled. And only a life that is complete is free from the lie we call life.
– Eyrk Walton, Wolverhampton
