Positive thinking is an attribute which has great healing power. Statistics show that patients who have undergone major surgery recover better if they are optimists. This provides us with evidence that ‘mind over matter’ can is a real change agent in one’s life.
Research has shown that positivity does not just work by quelling stress, but it also has a positive, biological effect. When one feels safe and secure and anticipates things will turn out fine, it seems to help the body maintain and repair itself.
Conversely, it is well accepted that illness can be brought on by negative thoughts and anxiety. Negative thoughts often manifest as stress, which can trigger neurophysiological responses such as the “fight-or-flight” response, which is thought to have evolved over many centuries of existence, as a response to protect us from danger. Essentially it is an automatic reaction to any real or perceived threat, and helps us prepare to either escape the problem, or battle with it. However, if the negative biological response continues long-term, or is activated even when risks are essentially in the mind alone, it can increase the risk of conditions as diabetes, cardio-vascular illness and dementia.
It is true that some people are born optimists. Nature and nurture are both at play, and we all have different temperaments when we are born, together with different qualities of upbringing and experience. However, whatever your natural disposition or social conditioning, you can train yourself to think more positively. Mahatma Gandhi once said:
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
So how can a pessimist become an optimist? And, how does one achieve this happiness?
A tried and tested route is to keep positive company and engage oneself in purposeful endeavour. Happiness, and positivity for example manifests in saints, in whose presence love and harmony become viral! They have love for truth and humanity. They want every pore of theirs to be immersed in it. They wish to drink from the ever-brimful fountain of God, which nourishes and sustains the whole universe. Such people are free from the stresses of the world. Their misconceptions are removed as they live in the light, unaffected by darkness. The Avtar Bani (Verse 56) says it thus;
Do keep holy company to gain a full, spiritual glow.
Do keep holy company to make all impurities, to go.
Do keep holy company to overcome all suffering and pain.
Do keep holy company to end ego and pride’s reign.
Do keep holy company to see and sense the Unseen.
Do keep holy company to attain a prosperous way of being.
Do keep holy company to savour His nectar and sip.
Do keep holy company to put thieves-five in a grip!
Do keep holy company to be calm and still the heart,
With Saint’s touch, Avtar, the mind never falls apart
To achieve true happiness and to spread positivity to those around you, there is no better substitute than spiritual development. When a human being is supported to separate the eternal nature of things, from the temporal and passing existence, it is the path to enlightenment. In the company of the enlightened, it is clear that people enjoy an abundance of positivity. Such an enlightened company is the mind-purifying and de-mystifying agent.
When realizing the truth and surrounding oneself with enlightened beings, all material negativity pales into insignificance. The trials and tribulations of life remain, but one develops the confidence to work through them, even to see them as stepping-stones to deeper learning. The company of the enlightened, helps one to be positive, and to adopt new thinking and habits.
In this open and affirming outlook, it becomes natural to engage in progressive and constructive action. Simple and basic acts of care and kindness, then bring even greater positivity into one’s life. Whilst it may be argued that no act is completely altruistic, for we benefit from our deeds, ultimately positivity and happiness are far from being selfish acts, they are much more. It is often how we treat others, and how others treat us, which leads to positivity. For instance, starting the day with a simple smile or positive greeting can make others feel more welcomed. This, in turn, can affect us positively. Ripples of goodness flow, because we get what we put into the world.
On a more conscious level, we also need to be able to identify our strengths to start to train ourselves to be optimists. The Psychologist, Dr Tim Sharp says,
‘We all need to work on and/or manage our weaknesses and limitations, but there’s no doubt those who spend more time building on what they’re already good at tend to be happier, healthier and more successful.’
Negative talk should be turned into optimism. Real optimism is an active search for, and focus on, positive things, but it should also be grounded in realism. Flexible thinking should focus on positives as often as possible and also focus on challenges when necessary, in a constructive way.
When you cannot do anything to change a problem situation, work towards acceptance. Use thoughts like, “I don’t really need this” or, “Perhaps there is a reason I am not getting what I want, or even “I may just have something to learn from this experience”.
Priorities and expectations sometimes need to be changed to fit the reality of the situation. Instead of dwelling on what is not happening or not present, practice thankfulness for your friends, pleasures, strengths and other blessings. When comparing oneself to other people negatively, one should emphasize that no matter what trait you consider, you can always find people who are either more fortunate or less fortunate than you.
Equally, one should find the useful part in failures, problems, actions, experiences, or situations. You can find good in almost anything, if you look with the right kind of seeing. Failure should be viewed as a learning experience teaching you what doesn’t work, so you can succeed in later attempts. If you have trouble with your child, for example, take pride in setting limits to teach your child, in supporting, and in forgiving your child. I once heard of a mother who would be so exhausted and annoyed that her child work with nightmares, because it broke her sleep. Later, she changed her mindset, and felt reassured by the thought that when her child really needed her, she was fortunate to be there to help. Such a small change in attitude, and the whole experience transformed for her. The amazing thing is, the child gained from that newfound reassurance, felt more secure at night and slept better in turn.
Like other unhelpful habits, negative thinking can be very difficult to change. You can only change it by practice, practice, and more practice. The more you flood your mind with positive thought alternatives by reading and practicing them, the more your thoughts and feelings will change for the better. Many people witness the power of positive thinking when they practice and repeat affirmations for spiritual growth such as, “I will face each new day with peace and love in my heart.” It may take months of daily effort changing your habits of negative thinking before you notice much change in your feelings.
There is a saying that we cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust the sails. In the same way, if there is negativity surrounding us, there may be little we can do to change the person who is showing hatred, or the situation that is causing us distress. However, by adjusting ourselves, our thoughts, our speech in a positive manner, we can bring positivity to ourselves, and also to others.
Consider the fact that in winter, grit is laid down to prevent snow from settling and turning into ice, which would otherwise cause slips, accidents and injury. In a similar way, if we allow negativity to harden and solidify, it will always lead us to slip and fall. We have a choice to melt away negativity and fear with the love and positivity. This is infact a supremely conscious state, in which we see things for what they are and avoid being diverted from the real purpose of life. Our prime goal as human beings is to know who we really are, and from this wellspring of enlightenment to spread peace, joy and happiness.
-Dr Tina Mohindra (Oxford)
