A few weeks ago I was attending a lecture on mindfulness in medicine. The physician spoke about a number of things concerning the topic. One topic in particular struck a chord with me. It was when she asked all of the attendees to stand up, raise one arm up, pointing our index finger to the sky (I urge you to perform the action I am describing as you read this text).
She then asked us to draw a clock with the raised arm, moving our index finger from the 12 o’ clock position to 3, 6, 9, and then back to 12. As we traced the shape of a clock with our fingers in the sky she asked us to slowly lower our arms, but continue to draw the clock.
Literally a few moments ago, we were looking up at our fingers moving clockwise just like the hands of a clock. As my arm was lowered and I looked down at my index finger still moving, it now appeared to be moving counterclockwise.
The physician used this example to illustrate the beauty of different perspectives. While looking up, our fingers were moving clockwise, but as the arm was lowered, the finger now appeared to be moving counterclockwise. The direction in which the finger was moving had not changed, but what had changed was our perspective. Just as no two snowflakes are the same, no two perceived perspectives about a situation will ever be the same.
We perceive the world through our inherent biases, filtering what we see of the world through the various schools of thought we develop over the course of our lives. It is the cumulative effect of our experiences that helps us to perceive what is right and wrong. Often people find themselves in the midst of a conflict. In situations such as these, it is easy to blame the other person, regardless of how right or wrong he may have been. In situations such as these, it is important to always consider what drove the other person to perform their respective action. Indeed, if you are the one who may have wronged another, it is even more important to be self-aware enough to analyze one’s own actions and intentions, and conversely consider the impact of those actions on other people.
Lately, I have been revisiting one of my favorite books, The Forty Rules of Love, in which Elif Shafak writes, “most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”
As tolerance and love depreciate, conflicts continue to grow around us. We are quick to judge and seldom are we able to give the benefit of doubt. Right and wrong are such relative terms, influenced by our current state of mind, life experiences, upbringing and so much more.
Just as there are two sides to a coin, there are always two sides to a story. The next time I am put in a difficult situation, I hope I am mindful of my thoughts, considering the other person’s intent, words and actions, to proceed accordingly.
– Akanksha Mehla – Toronto, Canada
